Self-Care Isn’t Selfish: Making Space for Yourself

September is Self-Care Awareness Month, a time to pause and think about what it means to care for ourselves—not just physically, but emotionally, mentally, and socially.

At Friend to Friend, we spend every day focused on supporting people through some of the most difficult and overwhelming moments of their lives. We provide safety, advocacy, counseling, crisis support, education, and connection to resources for survivors of domestic violence, sexual assault, and human trafficking.

Our work is centered around caring for others. But we also know something important:

You cannot pour from an empty cup.

Self-care doesn't have to mean a spa day, an expensive vacation, or hours of uninterrupted free time. Sometimes, self-care is much simpler. It might be taking a walk, reading a few pages of a book, spending time outside, listening to your favorite music, taking a nap, calling someone you love, exercising, baking something just because you want to, or cuddling with your pet.

Recently, we asked our staff about their favorite ways to practice self-care. Their answers included everything from hiking and hot baths to hot yoga, reading, getting their nails done, baking desserts, listening to podcasts, going for a drive, and spending time with family and pets.

The variety of answers was a good reminder that there is no one right way to practice self-care.

What helps one person recharge might not work for someone else—and that's okay.

Self-Care Can Be Part of Healing

For survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault, taking care of yourself can sometimes feel unfamiliar or even uncomfortable. When you've spent your time prioritizing someone else's needs, navigating fear, or simply trying to get through each day, your own needs may have been pushed aside.

Learning to recognize what you need—and giving yourself permission to meet those needs—can be an important part of healing.

Self-care might mean creating a quiet moment after a difficult day. It might mean setting a boundary. It might mean asking for help. It might mean reconnecting with something you enjoyed before a difficult experience. And sometimes, it might simply mean getting through the day and giving yourself grace for whatever that looks like.

Self-care isn't about doing everything perfectly. It's about recognizing that you matter, too.

Caring for the Caregivers

Self-care is also important for the people who support survivors: advocates, counselors, volunteers, friends, family members, first responders, educators, and community partners.

Supporting someone through trauma can be emotionally demanding. Being there for others doesn't mean you have to carry everything yourself.

Taking a break doesn't mean you don't care. Asking for support doesn't make you weak. Setting boundaries doesn't mean you're letting someone down.

In fact, taking care of yourself can help you continue showing up with compassion, patience, and strength for the people who need you.

Small Things Count

If you're not sure where to start, don't overthink it.

Ask yourself:

• What helps me feel calm?

• What makes me feel like myself?

• When do I feel most rested or recharged?

• Who makes me feel supported and safe?

• What is something I enjoy simply because I enjoy it?

• Is there something I need to say “no” to right now?

• What is one small thing I can do for myself today?

Self-care doesn't have to take hours. Sometimes, five minutes outside, a phone call with someone you love, your favorite song, or a quiet cup of coffee can be enough to give yourself a moment to breathe.

And if what you need is a nap, take the nap.

At Friend to Friend, We Believe You Matter

Our mission is about creating safety, providing support, empowering survivors, and helping people move toward lives free from violence. At the heart of that work is a simple belief:

Every person deserves to feel safe, supported, valued, and empowered—including you.

This Self-Care Awareness Month, we hope you'll make a little space for yourself.

Take the walk. Read the book. Call your friend. Sit outside. Bake the dessert. Turn up the music. Take the nap.

Whatever self-care looks like for you, it matters.

Because caring for yourself isn't selfish.

It's one way of reminding yourself that you matter, too.